This Fic is rated PG for a couple of words/phrases, but it's not, I repeat NOT dark! Oh, and you know the copyright stuff, these characters aren't mine, so no one sue me!!
Preface:
Please excuse the fact that this is gonna suck, I'm doing this alone, you know. I've set out to write a fanfic that WOULD be read and WOULD be liked. It will be done. If you only like bloody, serious Fanfics, turn back now. This, by choice, will be completely silly! On a more serious note, I have some often ignored characters than need to be put in. If any of the material in this story proves offensive to you (though I doubt it would) I don't CARE!! You're the one who wanted to read it! I'm writing this in play format for easy readability and less confusion. Of course, this is a PREface, so I'm writing it PREstory. In other words, all of this information could prove to be untrue. But do you care? I thought not. (Or maybe you do? How should I know?) By the way, I'm using Japanese names, and if you're completly lost, this page of Japanese to English names may help.
(Scene opens at Rei's temple after school. Usagi and Minako are both late, since they forgot to do their homework and both have detentions)
Rei: When is Usagi going to learn that she can't be so lazy all the time?
Ami: Don't forget, Minako's there, too. How are we supposed to know what happened?
Mako: I thought you were supposed to be the smart one. The author just said so, didn't you see?
Ami: (blushes) Oh.
Luna: Well, we might as well start without them. So . . . (silence)
Rei: Why do we have so many meetings?
Luna: Tradition!
Mako: Who gives a sock about Tradition, I've got boys to chase! (rushes off after a cute and slightly familiar looking man)
Artemis: Mako!! (sweatdrop)
(scene changes to Mako since it is very boring at the temple)
Mako: (thinking) He looks just like my old boyfriend . . . he's so dreamy . . . that hair . . . those eyes . . .
Guy who Mako's following: What the-Hey! Stop following me!! What's wrong with you?
Mako: (in her mind) . . . that voice . . . (sighs dramatically)
Guy: Are you some kind of psychopath? Hey, let go of my leg!
Mako: Wanna get a shake with me or something?
Guy: I have a girlfriend. I'm not interested in you.
Mako: NOOOOOOOOOO! (screams and faints at the Guy's feet)
Guy: Oh boy, not another one. Better bring her back and see what I can do. She looks so familiar, though. (drags Mako off the scene)
(At school)
Usagi: There! All finished. Done, Minako?
Minako: (snores loudly, having finished her paper some time ago) What? Usagi, did you say something?
Usagi: Look, it's Mamo-chan! We're audi!! (breezes out the door, dragging a groggy Minako along)
Mamoru: Oh no, not Usagi. (collects himself) Hey Usagi, what's up?
Usagi: Oh, you know, the usual. Fighting evil by moonlight, winning love by daylight, you know the routine. And you, sugar?
Mamoru: Nothing, I guess. Hey, you brought Minako! Hi, Venus! (winks at her suggestively)
Minako: Freak! Pervert! (storms off)
Author: Wait!!! (freezes everything) This Fanfic SUCKS so far!!! I bet no one's even READ to here! Mamoru-san, no hitting on Minako!
Mamoru: But Minako's soooo much cuter than Usagi! Anyone can plainly see Usagi is a Meatball-Headed-
Usagi: (slaps Mamoru) How dare you?!?! Bastard!
Author: No no no no, this isn't working at all! (folds her arms and does a Jeanie nod and blink) (Usagi and Mamoru run to each other)
Mamoru: I didn't mean it! I love you, muffin!
Usagi: Me too, sugar! (they kiss)
--Author: (smirks and vanishes)
Minako: WAAAAAA! How come I don't get a boyfriend? The Senshi of love had no lover? It's not fair!!!!!!
(back at the boring temple)
Rei: Oh, come on, Ami, Sailor Moon Sailor Stars was PATHETIC! Think of the villains' names! Iron Mouse? Lead Crow? What does that have to do with any planets? And the Star Seeds. Talk about overusing a topic!!
Ami: Oh, give the writers credit. You think after five other seasons they'd have ORIGINAL ideas? Luna and Artemis: (sleeping)
Author: I just can't write well, can I? WAAAAAAA!!!
(back with Mako, she wakes up in a strange place)
Mako: Where am I?
That Same Guy: In the abode of Ail and Ann.
Mako: Ail? You're Ail? No wonder you looked so familiar! But I thought you went to a new planet!
Ail: We did but Ann here got mad and blew it up!
Ann: (smiles and giggles lightly) I didn't mean to, but Ail was always looking at the other girls! It wasn't fair!
Mako: But why did you come back to earth? What about energy?
Ail: We figured out that the Doom Tree runs on Energizer Batteries, and all we really had to do was change them!
Mako: Oh. (Sweatdrop)
Chibi Chibi: (appears) Awl! Ann! Mako! Chibi!
Ail, Ann, Mako: She's soooo cute!!!!
Chibi Chibi: Chibi! Chibi! Chibi! Chibi! Chibi! Chibi!
Ail: OK, kid, it's getting old.
Chibi Chibi: Oh. Sowwy.
Mako: Who are you, anyways? Chibiusa's future daughter? Chibiusa's little sister?
Chibi Chibi: Actuwee, needer! I am the dawder of Zoisite and Kundite!!!!
Everyone But Chibi Chibi: (faints)
Kunzite: (appears) Hi, sweetie!
Chibi Chibi: Daddy!!
Zoisite: (appears) Hi, sweetie!
Chibi Chibi: Daddy!!
Ail: Can I wake up now? This is boring . . .
Ann: Yeah!!
Mako: Oh, Zoisite and Kunzite are soooo hunky, almost as hunky as Ail . . .
Chibi Chibi: Chibi? Daddies? Hunky? Wat's hunky? Hunky cheese? Hunky-dory? Huh, Mako?
Mako: (eyes become hearts) 3 hunks in one room. Ahhhhhh . . . And me without a spoon!
Everyone else: (sweatdrop)
(scene changes to temple) (hours have passed, because we spent hours at Ail and Ann's apartment)
Ami: Should we worry about Mako? She's been gone for hours!!
Rei: Can't you read? We know where she is, Miss 300 IQ!
Ami: Oh.
Minako and Usagi: (run up) Sailor Scouts!! Mako's in danger! We saw her with Ail, Ann, Kunzite, and Zoisite! Who knows who will come next!?!?!
Rei: Whoa, how'd you say that in perect unison?
Author: Fanfic magic! You know I love it!!
Everyone: Ohhhh!
Usagi: Eternal Moon, make up!!!
Minako: Eternal Star, make up!!
Rei, Ami, and Eternal Sailor Moon: Since when do you transform with Eternal Star?
Author: Since I wrote a story about how she gets to be Eternal Star Sailor Venus and gets higher powers than Sailor Moon for once!! (Wink)
Rei: How come?
Author: Because Minako's my favorite!
Minako: (smiles) Once again, Eternal Star, make up!
Rei: Eternal Mars, make up!
Ami: Eternal Mercury, make up!
Chibiusa: (appears) Eternal Moon, make up!
Moon: Why does she get to be eternal?
Author: Cause I like her, too! Also, Those transformations are just guesses, I have no clue what they would really say, so I made that up. Thank you.
Mars: Let's go!
Moon, Venus, Mars, Chibi Moon, Mercury: (run to Ail and Ann's apartment, which takes about two seconds, because they run really, really fast)
Moon: I am the ditz who gets scepters! Pretty Soldier Eternal Sailor Moon! I will punish you!
Mercury: I'm really smart, and I'll punish you, too! I'm Sailor Mercury!
Mars: I can be really mean and jump really high, and I'll punish you! Sailor Mars is here!
Jupiter: I'm really tough and sometimes I act really stupid! Sailor Jupiter!
Venus: I'm pretty, I'm cute! I'm the Sailor Suited, though a pretty short sailor suit, Pertty Soldier, Eternal Star Sailor Venus!
Chibi Moon: I'm a little brat, and I'll whine your ears off! Hey, Author, I thought you liked me!!
Kunzite: What? Oh great, why did the Sailor Scouts have to show up?
Ann: Not them again.
A voice from nowhere: I am the terror that flaps in the night! No, that can't be right. It's a bird, it's a plane, its . . . no, no, no!! What do I say? Oh YEAH!! I AM TUXEDO MASK!!!!
Moon: My hero!
Tux: Yes, it is I, Sailor Moon's hero.
Zoisite: Not cape boy. Zap him, Mal.
Venus: Wait!! What's up? I'm confused.
Author: Frankly, so am I. Wait! This is my fic, so I can do what I want!!! Everyone! Act like chickens!!!!
Tux: Bawk! Bawk!! BAWK!!!!!!!!!
Moon: Bawk, back, bcccccccack!!!!
Ail: Bawk? BAWK!!!!
Ann: Cluck! Cluck!
Author: Hee hee hee. . . This is fun, huh Minako?
Venus: Yeah! Huh, Chibiusa?
Chibiusa: Mmmm hmm! Sure is! Hey, Author! Pass the popcorn!
Author: Pigs! Everyone act like pigs!!
Mako: Oink, oink! Snnnnnort!
Zoisite: Oink? OINK!
Author: Ok, everone's human now!
Ail and Ann: Excuse me?
Author: Human and Ailen, OK?
Ail: Alright.
Chibiusa: (looks at alien Ann)
Ann: (looks at Chibiusa)
Ann and Chibiusa: (scream and faint)
Ail: Oh my god, how could I be so blind!
Moon: Oh my god!
Mercury: What's going on?
Author: Chibiusa and Ann have noticed that they have the same color eyes and hair.
Ail: So, did Mamoru and Ann . . . have an affair?
Mamoru: No way!! Is there a misunderstanding?
A little girl with blond hair with meatballs: Daddy? (hugs Ail)
Ail and Mamoru: (exchange looks)
Ail: Wanna swich?
Mamoru: It's a deal.
Ann: I'm a mother?
Queen Serenity: I apologize for this terrible mishap. Chibiusa, you are the daughter of Ail and Ann. This is Celeste, daughter of Mamoru and Usagi.
Ann: Oh gr-rr-rreat, now we get the brat! Aillllllllll!!!
Yaten Kou: (appears) Hey everyone.
Chibiusa: No, not him again. Did we have enough?
Author: Hey, no being mean to Yaten, I like him, too!
Taiki Kou: Hi!
Seiya Kou: Hi! Hey, Usagi! How are you doing!
Mamoru: Oh no you don't, she's mine!!! Get your own girl!
Seiya: Only a question!
Yaten: (yawns) This is the most boring fic I've ever been in.
Taiki: It's not that bad.
Author: Hey! Why didn't anyone think of this before! Taiki and Ami make a really good couple!!
Random Fanfic Writer: I thought of that.
Ami: But what about . . . uhh . . . you know, that guy?
Mako: Your old boyfriend?
Ami: Oh yeah! His name is . . . uhhhhh . . . Well, what about my old boyfriend?
Minako: What about him? He's in like, 5 episodes? What's 5 out of 200?
Taiki: Oh, please, Ami, pleeeeease? We could study together!
Ami: I'm in love . . . (faints)
Seiya: Who do I get?
Mako: Me, you old boyfriend look-alike, you!
Seiya: What? Mako? You?
Mako: Yeah, baby!
Seiya: What's with her! Get off my leg! Mako, that's disgusting!
Yaten: Uhh, Minako, as long as everyone's . . . uh . . .
Minako: Yes??
Yaten: Am I supposed to get . . . you?
Author: You got it, Yat! You and Minako!
Yaten and Minako: AAAAA!
Minako: No way, no how. Not me and him!
Yaten: This will not work, you know that, author.
Author: Don't tell me what to do, you inferior lifeform!!
Yaten: And why can't I?
Author: Coz I have the power to do whatever I want! (twitches lips)
Minako: Yaten-sama!
Yaten: Minako-chan! (Gushy Music) (They run to eah other)
Chad: Rei, do you wanna, uh, pair up? If you say yes, I promise never to sing again!
Rei: Oh Chad, you said the magic words! But why aren't we using your Japanese name?
Author: Because I can't spell it!
All couples: (kissing)
Author: I love happy endings!
Chibiusa: Happy? You call this happy? Where's my boyfriend?
Everyone: (snickers)
Author: But you're just a little girl!
Chibiusa: Am not! I'm in fifth grade!
Everyone: (snickers some more)
Author: Oh, alright. Zac!!!
Zac: MMMwhat?
Kunzite: Not Zac HANSON!! Aaaaa! (Hides behind Zoisite)
Chibiusa: Oh, my dream herat-throb!
Zac: Chibiusa? I'm your biggest fan! I have all your dolls!
Taylor: (enters for a breif cameo) Yeah, sitting naked on your dresser! (Dissapears)
Chibiusa: Thanks, author! Now it's a happy ending.
Mamoru: No it's not!!!
Author: Why now?
Mamoru: Because I didn't get very many lines!
Author: Alright, say what you want!
Mamoru: I'll sing it, OK? This song is for Usagi!
Usagi: Awww . . .
Mamoru: (taps his cane on the ground) Sometimes I feel I've got to [doot, doot] run away, I've got to [doot, doot] get away, from the pain you drive into the heart of me! Once I ran to you, now I run from you! This tainted love you're giving, I give you all a boy could give you!
Usagi: Mamo-chan! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
Author: Mamoru, stop! We don't want Usagi to cry!
Minako: A different song, Mamoru-san!
Mamoru: Umm, I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie world . . .
Usagi: I hate that song, and I hate you, Mamoru! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!
Mamoru: Err, Whatever you want from me, I'm givin' you everything! I'm your baby tonight!
Usagi: You are . . . Mamo-chan?
Mamoru: Of course. (Kisses Usagi)
Usagi: Now it's a happy ending.
Ann: No it's not!!!
Author: WHAT NOW!?!?!
Ann: Ail and I haven't had many lines.
Author: So talk! @#$@%#$!! Talk!
Ail: Why should we? I'm fine Ann!
Ann: I want to show off my skills. Lia, uoy evol I.
Everone: What?
Ann: Dnatsrednu t'nod uoy?
Everone: What?
Ann: I'm talking Backwards! You know, sdrawkcab gniklat m'I!
Everone: Oh! Ti teg I!
Ann: Now its a happy ending!
Author: No it's not!!
Ann: Tahw? I mean, what?
Author: Just playing!
DNE EHT...er...THE END
E-mail me at sailorvkun@hotmail.com